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What number SPF blocks people?
Must be my day for Mis-Advertizing --- I just ate a Bowl of Cheerios ----- and they DIDN`T make me Happy!!!! FML!!! :-P
Car horns were invented 1% for safety and 99% because people get pissed off sometimes and need to let a mofo know.
I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get...well you know...Oreos.
Being a vegetarian is hard at first but after a month or so you get used to telling everyone you`re a vegetarian.
I always make it a point to become friends with babies. That`s free cake once a year for a lifetime.
Whenever I hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded I do one of my raps because I`m too poor to pay for studio time
The human race is the only one that lets its idiots live a full life...
Time to turn over a new leaf ... With my luck it’ll be poison ivy.
So impolite of people to sneak up on you while you’re talking sh!t about them.
My kids constantly yell at me whenever I try take their pictures, and I tell `em: "You`re gonna need them in 20 years for your Throw Back Thursdays updates"..... whatever!!
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood until they move.
I have no idea how I used to look for things in the dark before I had a cellphone.
I`m making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I`m accurate, how do you spell your name again?
Do you women realize how silly you all look with your clothes on?