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If you think you aren`t creative, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.
Making an effort in the last of 2014 to cut away distractions so I can spend more time with my iPhone.
Every-time I run I hear Mario Brothers theme song in my head, and look for things to jump over.
You can be like "This is a slippery slope" or you can be like "Weeeeeeee!"
Just Failed my Health and Saftey Test.The question was,"What steps would u take,in case of a fire?!"Big f*cking ones"was the wrong answer.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
I really think that Caller ID needs to be more detailed. It should say things like "Wants help moving" or "Will whine about bad relationship."
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared.
I feel like I am losing my mind !!! But as long as I can keep the bit that tells me when to pee, I should be OK !!
You know you`re desperate for an answer when you look on the second page of Google.
Accidentally walking through the camping aisle at Target every once in a while is about as outdoorsy as I get.
Lately I`ve been convinced that some people were born solely for purpose of eventually pissing me off...
When I count calories it involves a bunch of multiplication.
Apparently, my wife has friend zoned me...
There is nothing worse then trying to watch porn with a slow internet connection.