Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m actually a really good driver, when Facebook is down.
If running on a treadmill was the only way to recharge our phones we would be the healthiest mofos on the planet.
My New Years Resolution is to be less vain. It`s going to be difficult though, considering how sexy I am.
When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
Someone told me I`m immature and need to grow up. Guess who`s not allowed in my treehouse now.
Yes I am a bad boy ... But your the one that`s going to get spanked.
My neighbor was singing in the shower again this morning. I didn’t mind though as I can`t hear anything through the telescope.
I thought I was feeling a little bloated today, turns out I had my underwear on backwards.
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
I don`t hate you, it`s just, if you were on fire. I would roast marshmallows.
I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.
What’s the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational post are hard.
If he`s dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all "I still haven`t gotten my period."
I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you`d better do what I meant and not what I said.