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Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
My internet was down for almost 4 mins, I’m ok but the 911 operator was a total b!tch about it!
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
I always advise people never to give advice.
"You go girl" - asking my girlfriend to move out, but sassy like
Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
It was all so different before everything changed.
If you don’t count any of my failures, I’m quite successful.
I need to borrow someones kid for Halloween. I miss free candy.
I’m not a “stalker”. I want to make sure you’re okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I`m certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.
When non-smokers come to My house....I ask them to stand outside while I have a smoke
Elevators are so stupid. They have a button for the floor I`m already on.
Every so often you come across a person who always smiles no matter what, that person is the reason why random bitch slaps should be a thing