Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Fish must be excellent drivers. Very rarely do you hear about fish getting into car accidents.
I`m going to be very disappointed if I go to England and nobody skips to the loo.
I sleep better when I`m naked why can`t my boss understand this?!
Stop dwelling on the past and start f*cking up the future.
The older I get .... The more dangerous it is to sneeze
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
These techno songs last longer than my first marriage
I asked my mom for money and she said "Does it look like I am made of money?" I said "Well isn`t that what M.O.M stands for?"
If you like to listen to music while having sex, listen to a live album. That way you will get an applause every 3-4 minutes.
Unless life hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.
My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle.
I always win at chess ... by hitting my opponent with a brick.
Sometimes I wonder if the kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet.
You sure do seem to know a lot about love and relationships for someone who spends 22 hours a day on Facebook.
Sorry I got really drunk and ended up being really mouthy and offensive at your party next week.