Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You’re not really living if you don’t have an arch-nemesis.
Sh!t`s spiraling out of control and I`m all like "wheeeee."
thinks whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never been to a nude beach!!
Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m an apple.
can be sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, welcoming, loyal, trust-worthy, forgiving, understanding, and giving. But not to today!
Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.
Have you ever said something and immediately thought “I didn’t know I knew that."
I wish these people who sing songs on the radio would learn the words to the song, they keep messing me up!!
I`m not sure who looks more frightened & confused when someone knocks on my door, the dog or me?
I don’t trust public opinion polls because they don’t take into consideration the fact that the public is made up of mostly idiots.
I wish I could match my dog`s excitement to go outside.
Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my sh!t together & yet still insult me for being full of it?
I think I`m funny - but looks aren`t everything
There is nothing worse then trying to watch porn with a slow internet connection.
Some people say I`m a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again you`re fired"