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God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I can not change.
Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.
Sometimes words just aren`t enough. And that`s why we have middle fingers.
I just became a professional Counterfeiter, I even have the certificates to prove it.
Live life to its fullest even if that means eating everything in the fridge
I just don`t have enough middle fingers for today.
Tenderizing the meat sounds a lot sexier than it is
75% of my day consists of looking at the clock and not believing it
bored out of my mind in class i began staring into space... space happened to be right in front of me at the time...
There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.
I quit my job with the Dept of Corrections. That place was like a prison...
i only drink on days that end with y
There should be a law requiring you to explain what gluten is before you’re allowed to complain about it.
Of all the possible utensils that could have been invented to eat rice with... How did 2 sticks win out!?
If you can read this please let me know - because it means I blocked the wrong person.