Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I started to question my sanity this morning, It told me to "Shut up and chew through the straps....). I was free by noon......Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.
Well, if anything, the Mayans did teach us one valuable lesson. If you don`t finish something...it`s really not the end of the world.
just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die." I´m pretty surprised "yell for help" wasn´t one of them.
If video games have taught me anything, it`s that you`ll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss.
Beer is like sex. When it’s good it’s good…when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
Some days your the duck. Some days your the goose.
I saw a sign at a cafe that said, "shoes must be worn." I was upset, because my shoes were brand new.
Sneezing is like using sonar to find polite people.
I knew we were gonna be friends when you ran into that wall.
I`m a nonviolent person until I see a spider. Then I turn into Al Capone and "I want him DEAD! I want his family DEAD! I want his house burned to the GROUND!
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!
Nothing says "I`ve already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
Using dog shampoo when I run out of cat shampoo because I ran out of human shampoo a week ago.
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.