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Just did 100 crunches. Crumbs everywhere.
"You`re better than that" is almost never true
I miss that feeling you`d get at the video store when you discovered the movie you wanted to rent was available.
Things I hate about work: 1. Waking up 2. Humans 3. Working
I don`t remember anything that happened, but I may have had a drink or two...
Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
Never look at your beer as half-empty. Look at it as you’re halfway to your next beer.
All`s not lost my Friends. It won`t be long til people realize Selfie Sticks also make wonderful lightning rods......
What doesn`t kill you makes you have lots of hospital bills.
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
My friend told me he`s going to have a sex change. Apparently, he just wants to eat, drink, and be Mary.
Wish some of my co workers weren`t allowed in the break room... Because that`s who I usually need a break from.
Tomorrow I`m going to start using big words to sound smart....Sorry, I meant utilizing gargantuan idioms to simulate intelligence
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time.