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How can so many movies be “based on real events” when no one farts?
If you are offended by the things I post on FB you can only imagine the ones I don`t post.
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will only be jingling "part" of the way this year, as usual ur patience is appreciated.
Talked to someone in person today....what a pain in the a$$ that was!
Happy New Years Everyone! (I stole this status:) )
I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I`ll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab.
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself." ~5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
The bills are washed, the dishes are paid, the laundry’s in the oven. I’m going to bed.
Sometimes I feel like a loser for spending so much time on Facebook. Then I remember there are people out there who comment on pornhub videos
My life is much more fun and interesting when I`m single... Problem is I can`t remember any of it.
Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. I´m upgrading to the tugboat!
If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don`t be open.
I don’t make mistakes too often, but when I do it’s your fault.
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.
Notice how writers don’t rewrite books, how about we stop remaking movies.