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Life is harder for the beautiful people. I’m sorry you’ll never know.
Does anyone have the recipe for ice cubes? Asking for a friend.
My life is like Monopoly: sometimes I`m the race car, sometimes I`m the iron. But usually I`m a peanut because I`ve lost all the game pieces.
I removed my windshield wipers and now I don`t get parking tickets. Suck it meter maids!
Women have closets full of `I have nothing to wear.`
Sometimes I run toward people & expect them to know that I want them to do the Dirty Dancing lift but they never know and I slam into them.
Pretty much always 3-5 seconds away from just laying down wherever I am.
I`d have better people skills if I worked with better people.
Sorry about last night texts. My phone was drunk.
I haven`t lost all of my marbles but there is definitely a hole in the bag.
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that doesn`t let you skip.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
There are sick days, paid holidays, and vacation days. What about "Don`t have any gas to make it to work days"
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?
Like a good neighbor,I don`t really care.