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If you like to make love while listeninag to music, always choose live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
The only thing worse than a male chauvinistic pig is a woman that won’t do as she is told
Are you always this stupid? or are you just making special effort today...
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like ten so you can choose.
Just knowing that I have successfully pissed you off again makes my day.
Ride me like you stole me.
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.
Fast way to mess up someones Knock Knock joke? "It`s open."
I hate to rub it in, but lotion doesn`t really work otherwise.
I’m so happy people can’t hear what I’m thinking.
Ugh, I forgot to go to the gym today. That`s 9 years in a row now...
I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.
Some people should come with subtitles.
I really have to stop using this little microphone on my phone that types whatever you say as it keeps making mistakes punctuation point