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You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
I put my phone on airplane mode, and it dragged me out of my seat.
Home is where the pants aren`t.
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
What about a To-Don`t List?
"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."
that akward moment when you finish doing your thing in the toilet and you realise there is no tissue
The guy who invented the Time Machine has just died.... RIP DAVE JONES 2187-2014
I`ve been catfishing my best friend for the last 3 weeks. He`s gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I`m showing these emails to his wife.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can’t make coffee.
Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to like me.- Most Girls
Getting that beach body is easy. You just have to know where to dig.
Even hoarders throw their chapstick away if someone else uses it.
Facebook stalking? BAH! In my day, we used to root through people`s garbage.
Facebook really needs a “pee on someone’s wall” option.