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Women don`t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think.
Stop complaining about being single on Valentine`s Day. We have bigger problems in this world. Like why McDonald`s doesn`t serve breakfast after 10.30
I just stepped on a cornfkake does that make me a cereal killer ?
“Get your panties in a bunch” would make a great slogan at Costco.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
Be careful on how tough you are on your kids....Strict parents create sneaky children.
Free snow at my house. Shovel all you want!
For over 20 years, I thought Bon Jovi gave love a Band-Aid
My “I hate you” face must look a lot like my “I’m loving this conversation” face.
Turns out, I`m not an afternoon person either...
Most people are lucky they can’t hear what I’m thinking.
I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit`s door.
"Shit ton" is my favorite unit of measurement.
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.