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Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
Yes I have a dirty mind ... And you`re on it!
Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
I`m not saying I hate you, but I`d unplug your life support to charge my phone.
Much of my life is a contest to see which of the voices in my head can say the funniest stuff.
If you hear sirens and see some naked dude with jeans on his head running down the street, be sure to throw me a beer.
If I don`t remember what I did, don`t ruin it for me by reminding me.
I don`t get why people find drunk text annoying
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
I haven`t crunched all the numbers, but early calculations show that a large percentage of people don`t care what you think.
“Hey baby, do you smell that?” “No.” “Me neither, start cooking.”
Apparently when your girlfriend says "f*ck that bitch", you`re not supposed to take her seriously.
I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.
Honking your horn is fun but rolling down your window and screaming “honk” at people is just way more satisfying.