Daily Silly Status

I know this will probably piss off a bunch of people I know, but what makes someone good at fishing?!? Seriously, all you did was wait longer.

I just wanted you all to know that I’m leaving Facebook. This ride has been a blast and I’ve made a ton of friends who I really do consider friends in the truest sense. Your humor and wit is amazing. I’ll miss all of you, but I’ve decided I need to spend more time with my family. So... see you after breakfast

Pretending to be a morning person is exhausting.

It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.

Video games don`t encourage violence nearly as much as piñatas do.

When I get a call from an unknown number I answer by whispering: "It`s done, but there`s blood everywhere!"

Hey ladies, you know that feeling you get when you roll over & realize you made a horrible mistake? I could give that to you every day.

Any time you feel lonely, remember, its your fault nobody likes you.

The best thing about smartphones is that you don`t have to refold maps anymore.

I`ve been hiding from exercise ... I`m in the fitness protection program.

Screw it, just add another blade." -Gillette marketing concepts.

Just because you`re not paranoid doesn`t mean they`re not out to get you.

Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.

A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.

if you don`t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.