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I can alwasy tell when movies do not use real dinosaurs
I`ve tried several times, but I can`t pet a cat without plotting world domination.
Relax,,, We`re all crazy.. It`s not a competition.
And we all have that one friend who has more blonde moments than an actual blonde.
Men are like cheap dishes - easily broken & completely replaceable!
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
I like to spend Monday morning trying to remember what I was avoiding doing at work on Friday.
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
So much to do and so few alibis.
Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
Has anyone else ever noticed that the word therapist spells, "the rapist," when split into 2 words?
When the zombie apocalypse happens, I’m going to blast Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”, while the zombies chase us, just to lighten the mood.
Trouble is just fun you got caught having.
Once my ex knocked on my door & then shouted that it was her, so I texted “im not home” then seconds later I texted “if u happen to be here”