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You are wasting your time reading this status.
Shopping for bridesmaid dresses with 5 other women, today. If you never hear from me again, I committed suicide by nail file.
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
I`ll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That`s what this paper says.
High fiving was the original "like".
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought "that`s a fair trade."
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
I can`t wait to find my soul mate so I can start sleeping on the couch.
What scares me most is that some people think I actually know what Iām doing.
Be careful when you`re watching a movie with your wife. You`re gonna get blamed for whatever the guy in the movie does.
Beautiful people are more beautiful when surrounded by ugly people
Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying
Im switching some friends from my Facebook account to my Fakebook account.
I`d explain it to you again but I`m fresh out of crayons and puppets
There are two types of people in this world, those with common sense and those who have to pee on the electric fence for themselves