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I thought we had something. You met my family, made us dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”
Guys... If the girl your getting down with doesn`t even have time to fake an orgasm..... It`s prob best you just make your sandwich
Going on a dangerous assignment. If I don`t come back, can someone please tell my girlfriend that I always found her laugh really annoying. Thanks.
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
went to see the conjuring, and now there`s 10 crosses, four bibles, and a poster of Chuck Norris in my room.
My internet went down last week...so I talked to my family....thank goodness the internet came back
Stop complaining about being single!!, we have bigger problems here. Like why McDonalds don`t serve breakfast after 10:30 -.-
I can`t remember if I have any repressed memories.
iPhone 6: For people who don`t mind holding an iPad up to their ear.
Want to watch a nerd have a melt down? Tell him that you just bought an Android Ipad.
If I was rich, I´d do nothing all day from a much nicer recliner.
I’ve thought about running away as an adult way more than I did as a child.
So you have 820 friends on Facebook and yet no one was around to take your picture when you decided to use the mirror for a good shot?
How many days in a row do you have to wear the same clothes until you’re legally a cartoon?
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"