Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Black ice is just like regular ice except it dies first in movies.
Any perfume that claims it will help you seduce a man is lying if it doesn’t smell like a pizza.
No one asks the tough questions, like why are drug dealers on the metric system?
I got drunk last night and my house wasn`t where I left it.
Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit?
The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
My Ex updated her status to "standing on the edge of a cliff" So I "poked" her!
I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it`s nice to see agreeable babies out there.
A court date is still technically a date, right?
If my calculations are correct, I can retire about 5 years after I die.
The difference between a straight girl and a lesbian is about four or five drinks.
I thought about exercising all day long. I am so exhausted.
Maybe the government just needs to control/alt/delete and then restart in safe mode.
"Half a dozen" because saying `6` is way too long...
To whoever said “fight fire with fire”: do you actually test your own advice before giving it?