Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Got a passcode lock that takes a picture whenever someone tries the wrong code to look in my phone. I now have fifty pictures of drunk me.
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
Sanity is so overrated. I mean, it`s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn`t want to live there....
In the United States a man gets kicked in the groin every 6.2 seconds. I would hate to be that man.
Facebook is cheaper than therapy, twice as effective & you can do it naked.
My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.
I grew up in a town where the population never changed… Every time a girl got pregnant, a guy left town
Walmart made plans to hire 100,000 U.S. Veterans. Which can only mean one thing: Walmart is going to invade Costco.
I wish conversations were like user agreements, where I could skip to the end and just agree.
If I ever put stuff in storage I`m going to write "gold bars" and "priceless memorabilia" on the boxes just to mess with storage wars.
I hate when I’m walking into the gym and the wind blows me into the liquor store.
Milk Duds: When you want some candy but also crave a dislocated jaw
Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.
Things that make you go Mmmmmmm - Duct Tape
I don`t blame Congress. If I had $600 billion, I`d be irresponsible too.