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I found $80 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy Nerf guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, Nerf guns and candy".
I’m at Code 5 today. I don’t know. It’s something this lady in the coffee shop said and I liked it. So now I’m using it, too.
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
If I had a time machine I`d set it to "back in the day", just to see what everyone is talking about.
so far so good.... no unexpected father`s day cards or presents!
If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?
If a man says you’re ugly he’s being mean. If a woman says you’re ugly she’s envious. If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.
I am a Mother hear me roar.....especially when my kids decide to make a kite out of my granny panties and fly it down the street.
I have no super powers. I`m guessing I`m the villain.
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they`re going to put you in one.
I usually want to post intelligent and witty comments. But I end up posting stupid and funny ones so my friends can understand them.
I like my coffee like I like my men: caffeinated, made of beans, muscular, tousled hair, you know what, I don`t really know how to do this..
A woman’s anger is like a check engine light; there’s no pleasant way to determine what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
Our mailman freaked out when he accidentally saw me naked ... So did all the other people at the post office.
I do what I want, when I want, where I want.. if my mom says its ok. :)