Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m amazed at the mileage my car is getting. I`m still running off the same tank of gas I bought last year!
It`s Thanksgiving. Don`t forget to set your scale back 25 lbs
Another day where I`m not skinny, rich or famous. Getting real tired of this sh*t.
Why periods? Why can`t Mother Nature just text me and be like, "Whaddup Girl?, You ain`t pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to ya next month."
I changed the audio of my GPS to a man`s voice. Now it just says "It`s around here somewhere. Keep driving for a little while."
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Without stupid people we would have no one to laugh at.
Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber were both answers on Jeopardy tonight. The end is near........
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
Rock bottom is when you get dinner at the same place you buy your gas.
I go out all day looking good and saw no one I know. I go out for 5 minutes looking like sh!t and it`s all of the sudden a f*cking reunion.
When is National Slap a Co-worker Day? ... Please say tomorrow
I don’t trust public opinion polls because they don’t take into consideration the fact that the public is made up of mostly idiots.
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven does God hide behind the Pearly Gates and pretend he`s not home?
The new iPhone will have a finger print scanner. Or, in other words, Apple is about to amass the largest database of biometric data in the world. I’m sure the people of NSA are dancing like little school girls right now.