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"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
If I were invisible I`d go beat up a street mime...the applause he would get would be incredible
My favorite sexual position is pretty much any of them. I`m just glad to be involved.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn`t concentrate.
"Go left at the chopsticks in the road" - Chinese directions
Ladies, if you want men to look at your face and not your chest, eat a banana.
I bet there`s a rapper trying to figure out a way to replace his teeth with LED lights
I`m a crabby a$$ bitch before my coffee ... and after
I am who I am, your approval is not needed.
The bad news is I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. The good news is I no longer give a crap.
If you feel bad because you didn’t do well on a final, just remember someone from your hometown is still trying to become a rapper.
Don`t be upset that you`re single; be happy that someone isn`t ruining your life.
hilarious
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public, why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?