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How do they put the "do not walk on the grass" signs up?
What is it about paper towels that makes me always want to use more than one?
My doctor told me to start watching what I eat. What channel is the Pizza Network on?
I don`t always have awkward moments, but when I do I make sure I write them on Facebook so my friends know how awkward they were.
Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick the block up and put it back in my toy chest..
Iām an only child, and Iām still not the favorite.
Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.
Work is the result of failing to procrastinate effectively.
My kids are the reason I wake up every morning. Really freaking early. Every...Single...Morning...
My life is the intersection between having too much caffeine and constantly yawning.
I`m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
What I lack in sex appeal I make up in staying home and drinking.
I have many talents... For example: Sleeping.
Just witnessed kids playing tag. What is this world coming to? Do their parents know they are outside, interacting, and getting exercise?
Family and Friends - I am FAR too busy to listen to any of your problems or concerns *Googles do penguins go to heaven?*