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How do blind people know when to stop wiping their asses
Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they`re stabbing it? No? How about now?
Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.
I think I will start calling my wife "My Customer" since she is always right...
So apparently RSVP`ing back to a wedding invite `maybe next time` isn`t the correct response
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
Pay no attention to the device around my ankle.
"I want to marry a smart, rich, and beautiful woman. But I don`t feel like getting married 3 times." - Hesam Ebrahim
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
I just got an email telling me how I can have fuller, firmer breasts. I can`t wait to show them to my wife!!
Birds do it. Bees do it. Heck, even fleas do it. Let`s do it! Let`s live in a homeless man`s beard!
Have you ever listened to somebody speak and wonder who ties their shoelaces for them?
Serving sarcasm with a smile since 1984.
The plans I make after work are in direct proportion to how much charge I have left in my phone battery.