Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I suspect the ancient Greeks would be horrified that we refer to `laying on a couch all weekend watching a TV series` as a "marathon"
People treat New Year’s like some sort of life changing event. If your life sucks today, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow ... Just sayin
I accidentally lit the wrong end of a cigarette-that can`t be healthy!
Wisdom is understanding that a tomato is a fruit, but you don`t add it in a fruit salad.
I just leased a 2013 lamborghini, no payments till January. Those f@kin Mayans better be right.
Just realized the laundry detergent has been in the refrigerator for 3 days, in case you`re looking for a business manager.
Never cry over spilt milk. It could`ve been whiskey.
My nickname is Gilette because I`m the best a man can get. Also, I will cut you
I hope manners is the next cool trend.
You are not stupid, I just think you have bad luck when thinking.
Things that don`t kill spiders: 1: furniture polish 2: Febreze 3: butter 4: screaming
Women are so silly sometimes, thinking men actually care if they fake it.
I wish I was Robinson Cruso. Coz, I can have `Friday` everyday :) TGIF guys..cheers ;)
I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it`s Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes.
Are you still bored? Head over to Walmart, take a box of condoms to the checkout clerk, and ask where the fitting room is.