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The only technique I`ve mastered from watching cooking shows is screaming and swearing at everyone in the kitchen.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
Some people should be ticketed for wearing spandex
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
There are two types of people in this world: people who pee in the shower and liars.
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn’t be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn’t waste thousands of them in the `80s throwing them at Mario.
You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine
I like it here because not only do I get to air out my dirty laundry, I get to see yours too.
it`s friday o clock
Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there`s an idiot pulling a door that says "PUSH"..
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it`s only Tuesday
I`ve officially met everyone`s mother yesterday via Facebook so I`m pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies
roses are red violets are blue da shit in my back yard looks jus like you
No one on Earth has a higher tolerance to cold temperatures than someone who wants to smoke a cigarette.