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Premature ejaculation and hide and seek have one thing in common. 1 2 3 ready or not here I come.
Please don`t wear skinny jeans if you don`t have skinny genes.
Everything happens for a reason. That`s why I drink to everything!
Attention idiots: as you continue to read something clearly addressed to idiots. Idiot.
The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.
Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn`t kill the dinosaurs. I`ve been to the museum. It`s obvious they starved to death.
When people say "You look so familiar" responding with "Were we in prison together?" is almost always a conversation killer.
Big shout-out to slugs! Those little guys are out there everyday, doing all the same stuff as snails but without helmets.
Is it just me, or that sea witch Ursula from the Little Mermaid inspired from a full blown flamboyant drag queen?
Heat makes things expand. So I don`t have a weight problem...I`m just HOT.
Why do we offer "a word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones that need the advice?
Word of the day is bishop: My aunt fell down the stairs and I had to pick the bishop.
9 of 10 voices in my head telI me I `m crazy. One hums ...
It should be a rule that if you dress up like a red hair clown , you get a free happy meal at McDonalds .....I`ll pay this time , but I`m not happy ... !!
A shake for breakfast. A shake for lunch. A sensible dinner. SEVENTY FIVE COOKIES AT 12:34AM