Daily Silly Status

The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.

I spend 95% of the time out of bed wishing I was back in bed

When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver

funny

I love my friends unconditionally.* *Certain terms and conditions may apply. May not be available on all days. Coverage not available in all locations.Offer good for 30 days.Requires two-year minimum agreement. Fees applied for activation and early termination.

If I throw a stick will you leave?

Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.

I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.

Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.

A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.

I don`t think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.

I love the phrase "boobie trapped" I mean, who doesn`t like to be trapped by boobies????

Hitting on women at this PTA meeting would probably be easier if I actually had a kid at this school.

I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.

We live in a time where "He is hot" is more important than "He is a nice guy."