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Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.
You don`t get to complain about life until you move out of your parent`s house.
Redneck word of the day : Asphalt. It`s your own dumb asphalt !!
Note To Self: Even if someone really needs it, strangling them is still illegal.
Debt doesn`t buy happiness either.
I`ve single handedly defeated my erection.
I don’t cut in front of people whenever I’m waiting in long line, that’s rude. I just start dancing & grinding on them until they get all weirded out & leave. Works every time.
Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.
You should never lie through your teeth. Open your mouth and speak properly.
Orion`s Belt is a huge waist of space.
When the machines rise up against the humans, just pray to your God that you`re nowhere near a dildo factory.
Adding "and sh!t" at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.
Be the type of gentleman that holds the door open for your girl, but smacks her ass as she walks in.
I threw a shotgun shell at my daughter`s date. ..then I told him it`s much faster after 11pm
I have an inferiority complex,,,,,, but it isn`t a very good one.