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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
Now that I`m on Facebook, I can finally put that English degree I obtained to some use…
I stamp my hand on Saturday morning so it looks like I went out on Friday night.
I imagine a world where whining on Facebook is illegal.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I`m right.
Summer needs to slow the hell down.
Who wants to do something we will regret in the morning? Anyone?
If "The Breakfast Club" was made today, it would be a silent film about five kids staring at their phone
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
Girls are a lot like oceans, beautiful and deep, but once a month, it`s shark week.
I’m back on my feet again!! Wait, false alarm the remote is right here.
Did you know you can go to any gym without having to announce it on Facebook?
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
Be nice to your kids. They get to choose your nursing home.
Played Naked Twister last night and man, did it get RAUNCHY!....I can`t imagine what it would be like with other people.