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Urban Dictionary has saved me from asking so many awkward questions.
Today I think I`ll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
I went to the bank and said I`d like to open a joint account. They said "With who?" I said "Anyone who has a lot of money!"
There is no better indication of how drunk you are than how loudly you declare that you`re not.
Dear American Express, can you raise my debt ceiling?? Thx, bro.
Never make decisions when you are angry....or horny.
I`m not sure what my credit score is but I`m pretty sure I`m losing.
My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
I hate it when people dont know the differece between Ur and U`r
I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths
My Retirement Plan hinges on having at least one successful kid.
Considering that dogs pee to mark territory, they probably think humans are constantly battling over who gets to claim the toilet.
I turned out ok for a kid raised in a large part by Bugs Bunny.
Hoping to get "till death do us part" reduced to a 15 year sentence and time served.