Daily Silly Status

I tend to say “I don’t know” when I’m too lazy to think.

My wife gives me the speaking treatment.

I`m watching a show about surviving in the wild in case I ever decide to log off and go outside.

I’ve watched “Aladdin” like 25 times with my kids, so I know quite a bit about politics in the Middle East.

My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.

I don`t understand why Walmart has a problem with me bringing my dog in the store. He`s better behaved, smells better, and less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people here

Every morning I check my girlfriends horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.

I`d rather run a marathon than listen to someone talk about running a marathon.

Good for you, people that do things.

Now that I think about it... Facebook became popular ever since I made an account.

If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.

Hey rumor has it, that if you look up from your phone you can see all kinds of pretty colors in the trees this time of year.

I did a push-up today. Well, actually I fell down, but had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. Now I need a beer.

Why must I prove I`m me, if I`m callin to pay my bill. Do strangers call to pay my bills? If they do, then let them, you idiots!

If people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?