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I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of a plane
When you write misspelled backwards it`s misspelled.
I could really go for a beer and a million dollars.
If you ever want to watch a women feel herself up for ten minutes, hide her cellphone.
My bank account is more like a countdown to my homelessness
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
Hey NFL, solution to your recent problem, start allowing players to hit each other on the field again
Don`t know what to get your husband for Christmas? Whatever you give him, give it to him naked. Problem solved
I`m available if anyone needs me to ruin a good thing before it even starts.
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
How`d this get posted?
I think Facebook now comes under the housework category.