Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I may not be the best looking, wittiest, smartest or even the most successful person. I forget where I was going with this...
Surgery beds are basically cutting boards for humans.
The real trouble with reality is that there´s no background music
I want to give up coffee, but I`d hate to do that to my coworkers.
According to the squirrel riding a unicycle in my kitchen, I may have taken too much sleep medication.......
Alcohol. Because who really wants to remember last night?
Deja poo. The feeling that you`ve heard this sh!t before.
Remember the good ole days when we had to get out of bed to use the Internet.
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn’t even be nominated.
You know you`re poor when you sneak into Sam`s Club with some random family just to eat samples for lunch. Yay... Christmas
Holidays are a lot of fun until you realize you`ve been dating the ugly sister
This year, I`m thankful for all the people that included me in their mass texts wishing me a "Happy Thanksgiving," now I know which numbers to block when Christmas comes around.
Guys be like, "Lets play 21 question." Girl: Ok, what`s your favorite color? Boy: Triangle, so you a virgin?
If our phones were really smart, they would tell us to get off of Facebook and do something meaningful or constructive with our lives.
going to mcdonalds for a salad is like going to a brothel for a hug