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I clean my house like everyone else ... 5 minutes before someone comes over.
Telling someone they shouldn`t be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they shouldn`t be happy because others have it better.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it´s still on the list.
I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.
Walking past a new employee`s desk & yelling, "Do you think it`s a good idea to be surfing porn on your first day?" will never get old.
I just saw a poster that said, "Have you seen this man?" with a number to call ... So I called the number and told them, "no."
If your that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
I may have no one rocking my world right now, but I have no one ruining it either!
I was pretty disappointed when my boss said we can`t do throw-back Thursday, or bring tequila shots to work
Im out like a fat kid playing dodge ball
Being alone with my thoughts can be quite boring unless alcohol is involved
May your neighbors respect you, troubles neglect you, angels protect you and heaven accept you.
If Facebook has taught us anything, it`s that a lot of people are not quite ready for a Spelling Bee.
This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-
Wesley Snipes was released from prison this week. Now he can finally begin filming "Blade 4: Twilight."