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Occasionally, I like to agree with a man just to watch the look of fear, confusion and nervous-anxiety.
[the instructor clearly frustrated with me on first day of veterinary school] "It doesn`t matter if its a dog, it`s still called a cat scan"
Actually baby, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend
so, on a scale of one is to seven, which letter of the alphebet is your favourite colour?
Chuck Norris doesn`t flush the toilet...he just scare the sh!t out of it.
I have the body of a God. Unfortunately, it`s Buddha.
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
Spent $50 on E-bay to enlarge my happy place. The creep sent me a magnifying glass.
I was born at a very early age.
Cleavage is like the sun, you can look... But its dangerous to stare
The bad news: I took the wrong medication today. The good news: For the next 3 months I`m protected against heartworms and fleas.
Can you imagine if Facebook and Twitter just decided to shut down and you see all these confused people coming out of their house squinting at the sun.
In the word "scent" is it the s that is silent or the c?
"you failed just as much as your dads condom."
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page