Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Instead of torturing people for getting information, why don’t they just get them really drunk?
Never trust anyone who says “Im not supposed to tell anyone but”
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program
This hangover feels like Quentin Tarantino directed it.
Rawwrrr means I love you in dinosaur. Everyone knows that, silly
We`re all brave until we realize the cockroach has wings
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on again?
I feel like I am losing my mind !!! But as long as I can keep the bit that tells me when to pee, I should be OK !!
That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it too.
Like a good neighbor, stay over there
I´m playing hide and seek with the kids right now and they´ll never find me, because they aren´t old enough to drive or get into this bar.
When you think about how big the Earth is, then how small it is compared to the Sun, and how the Sun is just a speck of dust in the universe, it`s easy to justify eating an entire chocolate cake.
I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here.