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Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.
One trenta cheeseburger please.
Had a big mix up at the store today... Apparently, when the woman said strip down facing me,she was referring to my credit card.
Some days I’d like to take a chainsaw and cut a few branches off my family tree.
Hey NSA, we all know you`re there now. So click the approve on my Candy Crush ticket request.
How to break up with someone: You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: Which one? You: ME. You: BYEEEE
I know it`s rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you`re unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me
This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
Hey! Wanna make $$$$$$ fast? Just follow my simple instructions. 1:Hold down the Shift key 2:Press the number 4 six times. It’s that easy.
Wake up, kids! Bees can`t even read, much less spell. IT`S A SCAM!
It’s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
You can tell a man`s age by how close their socks are to their knees.
If a picture is worth a thousand words then why does everyone only buy Playboy magazines for the articles?
That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like....`I`ve got nothing man.`
Sure, I`ll show up at your Halloween Party... I`ll be coming as the invisible man....