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People who are about to tell you something then say "never mind" are the reason why I sometimes admire serial killers
We can`t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
This bulk box of peanuts I got from Costco tastes like styrofoam.
I think for Halloween I am going to go as Karma. Some of you should be worried.
He said the spark between us was gone..so I tasered him..... Ill ask him again when he wakes up
If my calculations are right, by November of 2019 my uneven usage of conditioner will finally lap the shampoo and I will run out of both at the exact same time.
“I don’t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others’ lives sounds fun!” – How I got out of jury duty
500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board. Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
I was standing in front of the mirror eariler, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge.
It would be funny if the husband is actually sleeping with the Jake from state Farm.
I just found my Christmas Spirit.... It`s been in aisle 6 at this liquor store the whole time!
Greeting all the Single People a very Happy Independence Day!!
Ok a$$hole, just go around me. I`m already doing 30 over the limit, I`m not speeding up. Stupid car with your stupid flashing lights
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
Its so cold outside I might even post about it on Facebook