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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I`ve been one for 30 some years now.
I don’t like being told what to do unless I’m naked.
I`ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
Some people have goals of conquering the world! My goal is to sleep through the night without having to get up and pee!
Ziploc`s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different from mine.
Say no to drugs! Then again, if you`re talking to drugs, you`re probably already on drugs.
Takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do ...
Dear Fork, I understand that we haven`t spoken since I ran away with dish, but I thought you should know that you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair. Sincerely, Spoon
My parents weren`t exercising all of those nights.
I was enjoying our conversation. Until you started talking....
You know one thing i really like about you is that you dont like anything about me.
love me or leave me,,HEY!!! where is everybody going?
There are no words to describe how I feel about you... Good thing God invented the middle finger.