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Yes we`re friends on facebook but that`s where it ends, stop trying to talk to me in real life... mom
My life is a movie. One of those movies where most of the people start leaving right in the middle of it.
Dear neighbor mowing your yard this morning, I found my bagpipes for tonight.
A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
I did not trip...the floor looked like it needed a hug.
Commence six months of the clock in my car being wrong.
I´m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
Life in the fast lane ? Heck, I live in oncoming traffic.
Judging by all of the cologne and shower sets I got for Christmas either people know I like to smell good or I am failing at it.
Don’t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I’ve changed since then.
If I ever start a band, I`m going to call it The Voices in My Head. Think of all the fun ways you can tell other people what you`re listening to...
roses are red,violets are blue,god made me beautiful, what happen to you..
Your shirt might say UFC but your body says KFC
Girls here`s an idea, instead of spending all that money on makeup. Just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.