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People should mute themselves on conference calls when they are crossing a battlefield and killing enemies to get to the next level.
Sometimes, I wish I could fast forward the time just to see if in the end it`s all worth it.
That awkward moment, when you wake up with one sock on.
Yeah, I was dropped as a baby. Into a pool of sheer awesome.
Everyone can stop painting. We all have cameras that can take perfect pictures of everything.
Facebook needs a "slap a b!tch button"
I had the greatest bowel movement at 2am......unfortunately I woke up at 8am (<>..<>)
I see you liked my status... I accept your invitation for sex.
To whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks. I`m out in public. Thanks.
That awkward moment when you’re laughing so hard, you accidentally hit your head on something..
Goodnight, good people - and nite nite to the naughty ones too!
Rick Ross be rapping about cars he can`t even fit in.
I`ve just finished doing my hair, want to come over and mess it all up?
Nice try blocked number, but I don`t even answer my phone when I know who`s calling.
Are oranges named orange because they’re orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?