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All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.
Smooth move.........ExLax
This hangover feels like Quentin Tarantino directed it.
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the “M” is silent.
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me more than a week to realize that I`m not at work anymore....
If it defies all logic, and makes very little sense then it was probably my idea...
Despite being a pain in the a$$, you have to admit I still bring a lot to the table.
Pro Tip: If you`re on the bus, and wearing headphones, people can still hear you fart.
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
If you can`t read the bottom of the eye chart, spell something dirty. Eye doctors love that sh!t.
Why is powdered milk called ‘Instant milk’? Actual milk is far more instant.
It’s called a “remote” because those are your odds of finding it when you want to change the channel.
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.
why we do not have a romance class...............
Only 3 more days until millions of people join the gym for a week.