Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Had a big mix up at the store today... Apparently, when the woman said strip down facing me,she was referring to my credit card.
Social media - keeping people away from each other since 2006.
If I had a mood ring on today, it`d be flashing like a disco ball!
Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.
I walked a girl home last night, and things got a little awkward at one point when she turned around and found out I was walking her home.
I`m obviously smarter than you`re
I don`t know why people freak out and run when they see a spider. They are just gonna climb in your mouth when you are sleeping anyway.
Do the other settings on the washer actually do anything?
"There`s more than one way to skin a cat." -Chinese restaurant proverb
It’s not drinking alone if the dogs are home, right?
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
I was discussing with my friend about the popular trends on sex, marriage and values. He says to me, "I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" I replied. "I’m not sure, what was her maiden name?"
I`ll always be here for you ... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I`ll be over there for you.
Coca Cola: Because drinking black water seems like a solid life choice.
The longer a Woman takes to get ready, the easier it is to piss her off.. it`s Science