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OK. Who decided to call it "possession of marijuana" and not "joint custody"?
If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.
If I agree with you, we would both be wrong.
I would rather have a bad day of fishing then a good day of work.
The Internet: An electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room?"
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Nothing ruins hump day like not getting humped.
Dear life, I`ve had enough bullsh!t to last a while. Can we take a little break please.
I’m drinking while I work out…I call it Bacardio.
Come on snooze button, is 9 minutes all you have to offer...I need something in the 2-3 hour range.
An empty web browsing history is a sure sign of guilt.
Relationships are like just-out-of-the-oven pizza. You know it`s going to burn you, but it looks so good and maybe this time it won`t?
The phrase “Ignore it and it will go away.” does NOT apply to being chased by a dozen cop cars.....trust me on this one.
I was named after my father. I don`t really like the name "Dad" though.