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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m not sure why they gave all these other people cars.
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
If you canΒ΄t say anything nice ... weΒ΄re probably related.
I`ve been hiding from exercise. I`m in the fitness protection program.
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
Honestly, I’ver never see anyone fall because of a banana.
She looks like the kind of girl that brings a suitcase on the first date.
Thought of the day! Calling me a crazy bitch will only encourage me to prove you right...
Oh, you have a brand new boyfriend? Please tell me more about how you think he`s `the one`.
"I don`t see color." - A person who shouldn`t eat snow.
Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days.
I don’t mind going to work. It’s that eight-hour wait to go home that bugs me.
Just once I would like to see a liars pants actually catch on fire
When children shy away, I say, "I don`t bite. Not hard anyway!" Then I laugh and bite them hard. They need to understand life`s not easy.