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Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
I`d feel totally comfortable dating a zombie because I`d know she loved me for my brains and not just my body.
Call me faithless, but I just can`t believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower.
It’s funny that old people need handicap parking spots but they always manage to pick up a penny off the ground.
So I was looking at my boyfriends facebook page and saw a ton of girls saying they love him. He`s obviously cheating on me. We are so over Zac Efron.
I have never been guilty of taking the smaller pizza slice.
If someone doesn’t stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it’s totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by.
If you don`t leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn`t get your money`s worth.
How does Ice-T order an Iced Tea without sounding like a douche?
The girls who don’t get a rose on The Bachelor should automatically get a cat.
Walmart needs observation decks.
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling
My Wife says I talk while I sleep..........but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it
Posting a status update before responding to someone`s text is the easiest way to let them know how unimportant they are.
All women have an hour glass figure – it’s just that they all tote around different amounts of sand.