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Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it`s your choice.
Sometimes I just go to work for the free internet.
Kleptomaniacs always take things literally.
If you guys could read my mind! It would be all like; " "
Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.
I go both ways. I like hard AND soft tacos.
I wonder if there are birds that prefer not to sing in the morning and that just roll around in their nests until noon.
A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
When I see something funny on the internet, I don’t usually laugh. I just blow more air out of my nose than usual.
If at first you don`t succeed, find out where she lives.
This could be the best day ever… but it isn’t. Again.
I’m amazed by how quickly I forget what I’m doing.
I think it has become obvious that medicine companies have no idea what fruit tastes like.
I find myself highly addicted to books as of late. Once I start coloring the first few pages I can`t stop....
You bring a baby monitor to the bar one time and everyone freaks out.