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Sadly no matter how hard you try, you can`t mail a fart. Too bad though, because this would actually make paying Bills a lot more fun.
Just remember the only thing standing between you and your dreams is your talent
My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
Being `clean and sober` means I`ve showered and I`m headed to the liquor store.
I always take a number at the deli, and I`ve been keeping them.... Eventually I`ll have all the numbers and it will always be my turn.
Urgh..I just dropped my phone, are you guys alright?
When I`m bored I like to call in sick to places I don`t work for. I`m getting written up at Home Depot
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
Getting back with your ex is pretty much the same as taking a shower, getting out, and putting back on the same old dirty underwear.
If I haven`t offended you, just scroll thru my timeline. It`s in there.
Most of my thoughts have been coming from a very dark place lately. That`s what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill
Scratch and Sniff Here [____] …Smells like glass, doesn’t it
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
My dinner stomach is full, but my dessert stomach still has room.
I guess the teachers went back to school. The bar was nearly empty this morning.