Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
By 5, the human child can walk and feed itself, but doesn`t yet stray from home, as it relies on parents for tablet charging and maintenance
At long last, I`ve finished my research into the effect alcohol has on physical movement.....The results were, quite frankly, staggering.
You know what’s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
Halloween is the perfect time to redistribute those undesired condiment packets of ketchup, mustard, BBQ & soy sauce.
Ironically the only way I`d watch the 50 Shades of Grey movie is if you tied me to a chair and forced me to.
One day, people are gonna write songs about the nap I`m about to take.
I`ve been catfishing my best friend for the last 3 weeks. He`s gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I`m showing these emails to his wife.
When you go in the other room I ask your dog what you look like naked.
My wrinkles are all from laughter. Except those between my eyebrows. Those are my `WTF` lines and those things are deep.
The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.
Girl rule. A girl will only compliment another girl that is uglier than they are.
Sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that
Left the toilet seat up. Wife screaming in 5, 4, 3, 2...
Take Note: a stress ball can be used for throwing at people who stress you out.. You`re Welcome..
Words and phrases I hope do not appear in my obituary: "Skeletal remains", "Dumpster", "Beyond recognition", "Decapitated", "Dental records", "Shallow grave", "Strewn", and "Suicide by Cop."