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I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds. :/
My salad pic. got more likes than your selfie.
sometimes when i`m lonely i`ll fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend that i`m a meatball
I almost got raped in jail last night. My family takes Monopoly very seriously.
I don`t know what is longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
When I get a call from an unknown number I answer by whispering: "It`s done, but there`s blood everywhere!"
BEFORE I GET DRUNK, NAKED,THROWN IN JAIL AND LOOSE MY DAMN PHONE. *HAPPY NEW YEAR.
If you come to myspace and twitter about my yahoo, can I google over your facebook?
You know what`s the best part about waking up early? Nothing, it sucks!
Girl Scout cookie season is scientifically timed to occur just as people are giving up on their New Year`s resolutions.
I just wanted to send you a quick note letting you know that you`re in my inappropriate thoughts.
I find the best way to get rid of headaches is to send them either to their rooms or outside to play.
"No, thanks. I`m a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.
"I can`t wait for New Years to be over!" -my liver
The best thing about my phone screen shattering is that it now matches my dreams and aspirations.