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Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
I hate to admit it, but I’ve got a serious drinking problem. I don’t have any more money to buy liquor.
NERD WEDDING: Instead of saying “I do.” They say “I accept the terms & conditions.”
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.
People say love is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.
I`ll never become mature enough to not laugh out loud when the person in the stall next to me farts so loud it sounds like a volcano just erupted.
Pretending to be a morning person is exhausting.
Pay no attention to the device around my ankle.
If a man says you`re ugly, he`s being mean. If a woman says you`re ugly, she`s jealous. If a little kid says you`re ugly, then you`re ugly.
Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
Sometimes, I question my sanity ... Sometimes, it replies
Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot revenge.
Somewhere in the world right now, somebody is buying a house based on its potential for great bathroom selfies.
Facebook ~ redefining "friendship" one booby pic at a time. ;)