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Driving with your gas tank door open is the equivalent to having your zipper down.
I`ve been struggling with my laziness. I can`t decide if I should sit down and do nothing or lie down and do nothing.
There 492 billionaires in the United States, and not one of those goddamned losers has decided to become Batman.
Psycho and socio have always been my favorite paths.
I`ve been waiting all winter to start complaining about the summer heat.
Remember to make some bad decisions today. 20 years from now that’s all you’ll have to make your kids think you’re cool.
Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food.
People who walk down the escalator. Stop it, we have enough over achievers!
I`m a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
It`s time for all of us to admit the "endorphin rush" you get after exercise is just an overwhelming sense of relief it`s over
When you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s…That’s because she changes it more often.
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything.
I`m not the kind of guy to distance himself from anything... Far from it.
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier`s face: Priceless!:D