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The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
If you like to listen to music while having sex, listen to a live album. That way you will get an applause every 3-4 minutes.
That awkward moment when you’re yelling at someone and you mess up a word.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
High-five a veteran today.
You know you are the ugly one if they ask you to take the photo.
I`m at my most badass when I`m popping a wheelie with a shopping cart.
Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth ... and drink all the vodka inside ... It seems to help
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
Sexual education classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours straight while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
I`m at that "licking peanutbutter off a spoon" time to go grocery shopping point....
At this point I`m just waiting for summer to be cancelled completely.
This bottle of beer is not only delicious,,,, It also contains almost 10% of my daily requirement of beer...